The PLAN - Draft Version

After a couple of days on vacation in Portugal, I have once again realized that I do not want to stay here longer than a short period... Despite the several warnings of my parents to stay here, get an MBA, marry, have kids and die, I will not listen to them...


Nevertheless, I still have to plan my upcoming months and years... Actually, my plan was in fact to change job around september but my employer sacked me in advance. That job change would also mean that I would try to get more time for me... more time for girlfriend, more time for hobbies, more time for travelling... I was even taking in consideration to take a big step in my relation, which was to share a life... Once again, I was sacked...

Main reason for that is that I am not used to be with someone... After 2 and half years I have become selfish. In fact I have this slight problem of being egocentric and plan everything around me and not considering the other person. And many many times I say something that can hurt... such as, "I do not believe in love", "I will die young", "Women only create problems", etc etc... Well, my best friend warned me that I should not say that to anyone... I know she is right but I try to find with these sentences a way of protecting myself, a way of being stronger, a way of never to get hurt... I can do that but at the end it is not what I really meant for...

The result of all this... I lost someone that matched with me as no other... I was blind not to see it ealier and make things right but she also did not give me any chance to make it otherwise because she is selfish and does not believe in changes... I hope she will regret that and I strongly wish that she really would want to see the great guy I am and not that playboy that everybody think I am...

But life goes on... and I have to plan it taking in consideration the mistakes of the past. In deed, learning by mistake is be the best way of live life. So myplan for the moment is find out the job that most suits me. At the moment, I am concentrating all my research in Poland but for the time being, the phone is still not ringing. Therefore, the world will not be enough for me. USA, Ukraine, Ireland, Russia and Dubai, are now possible places where I am persuing to develop my professional career.

Lets see if I will be sucessful and get what I want... At this point I want these two issues in my life solve asap and in my favour because I always get what I want

Changes in my life...

Changes are to be done when they really have to be done... today at 7 o´clock in the morning I had a vision (no no I was not that drunk and I did not fall down on the floor... ahahah). I had this.... humm how to call it... flashback??? maybe yes... Anyway I was iluminated by this flashback... It helped me to realize one straight thing... WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?!?! This past year was the bottom line... party after party... spending money as crazy... for what? I always thought that this would be what I wanted but actually it is not... it took me nowhere...

I have changed a lot and I lost many things even... mainly the great guy that I know I am with principles, able to take care of myself and the person next to me... And that is what I want for me and I will have it because at the end I always get what I want...

I was about to go back to Portugal in 1 week but first thing I did when I got home... first plane ticket to Portugal... I need my family, my close friends, my room, my pillow... I need to stop and think it over... It is never to late to change and make things right... It is worst when you never really know what is going on and you keep doing mistake after mistake...

I just hope that things will be sorten out the way I want...

Do I really know myself?

After almost 6 months of absence... I am back to my postings... Actually not because of the best reasons but my life suddenly changed...

Bearing in mind my previous posting, falling down is the best status to describe my current moment. Since I moved to Warsaw exactly one year ago, I have strongly believed that my life would change for better. Well, I was wrong. I have lost all my credibility and my principles in this sin city.

First of all, my previous job. My contract was not renewed therefore I am currently unemployed. I am not going to state the reasons why that happened but what I have trully learned that despite of hating some polish mentatily, the truth is that they are right about there work policies. This means that they do not care about the company´s success as well as they only work from 9 to 17. I was all the time complaining about that but that is the truth. I was doing from 9 till 20 for what?

Actually, I know for what that was and that leads to my 2nd topic. My girlfriend... or should I say, ex-girlfriend. The time I was spending at work meant that I was not giving her quality time. Despite of several advices from her in order to change, I did not listen... I was blind and so self-confident that everything would be ok. Well after sometime, I have just lost both.... from this, what have I learned as well? Basically, that I am afraid of love... I have problems to express myself... And now that I do not have her, I have just realized that I was a fool not to show her what she really mean for me... Moreover, even a day ago, I have even started a stupid game of making jealous... which only made things worst... I am so fucking stupid sometimes... Since I moved to Warsaw in deed I am losing day by day all my credibility and principles... maybe a change will be my best medicine... :(

Falling Down

If you are keen on movies, most probably you will remember that the title of this post is exactly the same as the title of a thriller from the early 90s. It tells a story about a guy, whose nickname is D-FENS. Michael Douglas' character begins to crack and starts to fight back against the everyday "injustices" he encounters on his journey home. When I refer injustices, I mean everyday situations that people do not bother until they crack. In this movie, D-Fens start to collapses at a normal day journey to work, stuck in a traffic jam, with temperatures over 35 degrees, in LA (fortunately I do not have to put up with traffic jams anymore coz I know what it means). During the movie, everyday situation such as buying a burger which do not looks like with the pictures of the advertisements, gang territorial wars (this reminds me the typical approach of gangs in Portugal - Comeh sócio, orienta aí 100 paus), people going through you without apologizing, etc. I really recommend you this movie.

My state of mind at this moment is exactly the same as D-Fens. Life in Poland is not as easy as people might thing. Situations capable of cracking a person happen every single day. I know that there are many cultural differences between western and eastern European countries, but please, there is a middle term. I think the breakeven point happened two weeks ago when my friends were beaten up by those who I nicknamed as White Apes (Poland can be considered as the last living natural resort of the White Ape race aka Polish Men). From that they on I started to crack easily during my daily tasks. As I told you before, not only could I write a book about english in polish version but I could have an encyclopedia about these strange situations...

You know what you have to do to have a VISA credit card in Poland with a plafond of 10.000 PLN? It is easy... according to the bank they block in our bank account 12.000 PLN and then we can start using it. LOGICAL??? DO THEY KNOW THE MEANING OF VISA?

Have you ever tried to go to a doctor in Poland? Well, if you do not even speak a little bit of polish... forget it. I truly recommend you that you trust on your pills at home that your mother gave you before leaving your family´s nest. Actually, I have never seen a country with such burocratical processes. Probably most of patients die on their way to the doctor because of the several check points where they must show that they have abonament card for the private medical care service and identification card (I do not even want to imagine what is going in the public service).

I am the kind of guy that always leave a tip at a restaurant, taxi or club. What I hate the most is being cheated or having a note written in english on the bill stating that the service is not included. More even, asking me to pay before I even got the food on the table just because the waiter is finishing the shift.

I could go on and on... The fact is I am cracking but I do not want to take the same path as D-Fens took in the movie...

It is because I am foreigner or it is just me?

What do you have by thinks?

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?????????? What does it means? Well, if you are not aware about Poland was the source of the Anglo-polish language. It is a mix between archaic english with a little bit of polish imagination. Let’s take for example the topic of this post. What do you have by thinks? Well it is not that difficult to understand it under the circumstances and reasons about this email... but still come one try it.... hum yes you are right... It means no more that what you have by thoughts or what do you have in mind? I was not that hard.

Let’s try another example. End wat wiw koncert? It sounds easy, doesn’t it? I have to say to you that if you had seen the person who wrote, would you expect that such creature could be that intelligent to make her own language understandable? According to my sources, this creature was better to make her understood with body language rather than expressing herself with such a basic language such as english (note: over a billion people speak English at least at a basic level). I think you had time already to figure out what this means... if not, prepare for the unexpected... And what about the Concert? Similar no?

I was surprised on the other day as well about a question that is often asked to the small community of portugueses in Poland. "Where do you live in portuguese?". I start to think to myself, is this person asking me how to say in portuguese where do you live or is this person really asking me where do I live in Portugal? The good part of this is that if you also reply with double meaning and the other side will understand as much as you. Actually, this might help people developing their imagination and thinking skills... There is a point after all.

Unfortunately, I lost my phone a month ago and I have to say I lost plenty of sms that I would like to post here and comment on them. Next time, I should not drink that much and control myself at the party... but it is becoming hard and hard by the minute...

And I am not trying to say that in Portugal we speak better english...

P.S.: I was asked the following question on the other day: "What kind of nationality do you have?"... guess the answer... "I am Portugal..."

New Year´s Eve Party

Reviewing 2007

2007 was a great year... but not yet comparable to 2005. I will try to summarize what was really marking for me during the last year. Sorry if I will forget to mention about something or someone but sometimes I am short of memory :P

Work: At the beginning of the year I was given an opportunity to lead a team in Budapest, which was responsible for the migration of the accounting processes to Krakow. I have spent five incredible months in Paris of the Eastern European Countries. Nevertheless, as I was fed up of working for a Shared Service Center, especially, when there are problems involving money, I wanted to pursue another goals. Even before I got back to Krakow, in the middle of the year, I started to prepare my path to the Capital. My friend invited me for a big challenge which I had no doubts that it was the task for me and the next step to take. Currently, I am responsible for finance area in a real estate company.

Carabineri: After 6 months without playing in a team where the players play with their eyes closed, I found the perfect ones here in Warsaw. Santos, Cara, John e Roy. Pitch: Cinnamon at Warsaw. Championship: Who........... more? (use for imagination but yet again I am JOKING). 5 guys to whom the world is not enough to conquer... I would also like to that this opportunity to show my respect to friends such as Alvaro, Moreira and Carlos, which I hope they will join us here in a near future... It is up to you guys and PARANOIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Sunrise Festival - Kolobrzeg: Still 7 months and 24 days for the next one... in the meanwhile, please take a look and check if you were losing something like... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ni_TvAAZGmI

Family: Unfortunately life it is not as we always want it to be but I had to leave my family behind so that I could look for a better life. Poland is giving me the better one for the moment. You might ask how is that possible since I come from a country full of sunshine and good food... Well my friends, life is not only about sun and food... there are some other eatable things that money cannot buy... (hummm well unless you have MASTERCARD :P). Every 2 or 3 months I do all what is possible to go and visit them but of course I would prefer that they would be closer but they understand my point of view.

Girls: I have to say that clearly this was not the best year. There are some events on this life that is hard to explain or they have no explanation at all. How is it possible a guy like me still to be single after 18 months of his last relationship. Well it is quite easy to figure out... but main reason the more time I spend alone the better I feel... Well I had this thought until some unfinished business ended finally and I met Magda at the New Years Eve. By the way, you are already my girlfriend but yet you do not know about it... :P But I have to say that after some funny events during my first months here in Warsaw, I was fully corrupted by this sin city... La noche me confunde...

Money: 13 euros bottle of champagne in Budapest, Finlandia, Finlandia, Moet, Moet and more moet... I am finance guy and I always make a bad investment do not you agree? Should not the entrepreneur make his investments with the milestones that in the future we will take some profitability? At least, that was what I have learned at the university (probably it would have been wiser if I went to more than two classes in a row and now I would not be doing such mistakes...) I hope my boss does not know about it... Fortunately, he knows and he is worst than me :P

Health: Always the problem with my liver... a never ending story... with the life I am having now I foreseen that is closer to end...

Basically, it was something like this, at least the parts I remember...