Do I really know myself?

After almost 6 months of absence... I am back to my postings... Actually not because of the best reasons but my life suddenly changed...

Bearing in mind my previous posting, falling down is the best status to describe my current moment. Since I moved to Warsaw exactly one year ago, I have strongly believed that my life would change for better. Well, I was wrong. I have lost all my credibility and my principles in this sin city.

First of all, my previous job. My contract was not renewed therefore I am currently unemployed. I am not going to state the reasons why that happened but what I have trully learned that despite of hating some polish mentatily, the truth is that they are right about there work policies. This means that they do not care about the company´s success as well as they only work from 9 to 17. I was all the time complaining about that but that is the truth. I was doing from 9 till 20 for what?

Actually, I know for what that was and that leads to my 2nd topic. My girlfriend... or should I say, ex-girlfriend. The time I was spending at work meant that I was not giving her quality time. Despite of several advices from her in order to change, I did not listen... I was blind and so self-confident that everything would be ok. Well after sometime, I have just lost both.... from this, what have I learned as well? Basically, that I am afraid of love... I have problems to express myself... And now that I do not have her, I have just realized that I was a fool not to show her what she really mean for me... Moreover, even a day ago, I have even started a stupid game of making jealous... which only made things worst... I am so fucking stupid sometimes... Since I moved to Warsaw in deed I am losing day by day all my credibility and principles... maybe a change will be my best medicine... :(